Completely seriously, Hannes is totally useless when it comes to update his blog. So therefore, I do slave work for him. It is extremely strenuous to press my fingers against the keyboard, I would almost say that it is like fighting against a polar bear, because that is all we Swedes do. To fight against the polar bears that walk on our streets and produce hot blond girls. Ehm, yes .. True story! But well, back to what I actually should talk about. I got permission to “gästblogga” again, and i will therefore post a text about on an ordinary morning in my life! AINT THAT SO EXCITING?!
This is just so have something to read until Hannes starts blogging seriously again. Hannes and I will start blogging together on another blog, so this blog will soon go back to its normal form as it was before I came into Hannes life.
To give you an insight into my life, I will now describe a typical morning.
To wake me up involve a certain danger. Not that I would become aggressive and start throwing eggs, which I strategically placed under the bed, it’s more the sight. To watch a newly awoken Tova should certainly be classified as a suicide attempts. It will at least result in that you will be permanently marked. After that my mind has come back, I try to remember who I am, what I’m doing here and why it is an empty potato chip bag in front of me, and why the potato chip is laying next to it … My nocturnal activities tend not to be a synonym of the word normal.
I get up, being careful not to bump my head on a shelf I don’t even have. (Although there has been a shelf there. Until I hit my head in it too many times that it finally went down) and gently place a toe on the floor. You have to watch out, the things I have on my floor both bits, scratch and sounds weird. It’s dangerous. They are called for cats and they thinks that my floor is the exemplary place to sleep. Today’s first real thought, apart from my attempts to identify me, is;
- Why has it become so popular to paint hearts or dots on your nose at pictures?
Then I decide to make an effort and go up. Usually, it works fine, I’ll find my legs function and I walk proudly on, but sometimes it happens that I perform like a mans sex organ whose owners just seen something too disgusting to even talk about. In plain talk, I fall. The reason for this is usually because I have spilled a few drops of my baby oil, which stands on my drawer. (Don’t get any perverted thoughts now you little bastards , I use it to wash away makeup.)
But somehow I still manage to end up to my goal, final destination, the bathroom. There miracle shall be created. Miss Tova changes from dangerous for the human eyesight until health and normal.
My eyes must shine, my skin have to be perfect and my lips would be so sexy so the mans, as I mentioned earlier, sex organ will beginning to tickle his nose. Well, nothing of this would probably never happen, but you are not prevented to try. But I promise – I will no longer be a danger for the Swedish people.
After I’ve chosen my clothes that I’ve placed on my body with the greatest care, I begin the next project, take a 105 mile long jog, save the world from a natural disaster and rescue a woman from being robbed by a cactus. After I do a lovely and nutritious breakfast to my family and go happily out and pick up the newspaper. This is my real yes, definitely. Ok, let’s be serious. There is a necessity, the world is too unserious. This will definitely expand, and soon will the whole world stop playing CS and no one cares about when famous people die. Well, eh, ok, serious now Tova…
The next step is breakfast. The existing breakfast, not that which is nutritious and had something to do with my family. Breakfast is dangerous. It bites me in the nose and refuses to be chewed, it only grows in the mouth and menace to rape each and every body part of me, I hate it. There ends the description of my morning, so you can you guess how the rest of my day is …
Happy easter everyone! <3
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BN · February 6, 2010 at 8:10 am
Is this a trap?
BN · February 6, 2010 at 8:10 am
Maybe, but it seems like I’m FIRST to me though
BN · February 6, 2010 at 8:11 am
I’ll read your post later on – gtg to FOSDEM asap now XD
maxi · February 6, 2010 at 10:02 am
Riiiiiight.. lol
Tova (pixelwhore) · February 6, 2010 at 11:29 am
BN; I can’t be first with comment my own post, that is so gay ;o
Maxi; loooool
((
maxi · February 6, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Haha do you have xfire tova?
, no screeny i wont try to steal her from u u paranoiia! <3
Deleted_screen on his cellphone · February 6, 2010 at 3:01 pm
I need to change my password…
Deleted_screen on his cellphone · February 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Oh and maxi, she havent. But u can surely hook her up on wlm/msn or skype. I dont mind at all =)
Tova · February 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Hannes; älskling, det var ju du som gav mig lösenordet
<3
Maxi; what the fuck is xfire? xD But i guess it's like wlm/msn or something… well, anyway,
Chetoiu @ skype,
(goodbye spambots //screeny) (wlm/msn)
Woho!
maxi · February 7, 2010 at 2:18 pm
haha alright thanks
BN · February 7, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Omg, Tova wrote post so she was first >_>
DS, how can u get haxed by ur GF! Next thing u know is that she’ll leave the kitchen
Tova (pixelwhore) · February 7, 2010 at 6:06 pm
I will never leave the kitchen. Sorry guys, but you are worthless at cleaning and cocking food.
Author comment by Deletedscreen · February 7, 2010 at 7:39 pm
“cocking food” EXCUSE ME, U DIRTY YOUNG LADY XD
plus. Really, I’ll remove your email cause spambots seek the internet’s finest viagra buyers without stopping.
Tova (pixelwhore) · February 7, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Cocking food? yes, what is the problem with that?
.. oh.. damn. I google’d that. WOPS (a)
Author comment by Deletedscreen · February 7, 2010 at 10:09 pm
It’s COOKING xDD
Du vet väl va cock är människa? XD hahaha <3
Tova (pixelwhore) · February 7, 2010 at 11:02 pm
hahahha ja jag vet det (A) xd <33
maxi · February 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm
omg Tova hahah cocking food >.<